Socially Unacceptable Humor

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Location: SE Ohio

Socially Unacceptable Humor

Post by DrDan » Thu Dec 08, 2011 8:26 pm

Man calls 911 and says I think my wife is dead. The operator says, How do

you know? He says "The sex is the same but the ironing is piling up!

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had
the biggest spam she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling
my leg."

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!!
At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.

My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my
girlfriend yet.

Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going
fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do you think I should
change dentists?

A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking
behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get
reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would
like to come back as a cow.. I said, "You're obviously not listening".

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for
the worst. So, I went to the thrift shop and got her clothes back.

At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I
lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have curly hair?
Apparently the correct answer was Africa!!!

One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing
commonly found in cells. It appears that Mexicans was not
the correct answer either.

I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children
oriented iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.

There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping
center, but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some of the
new bomber jackets.

You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least
they drive slow past schools.

A buddy of mine told me he's getting it on with his girlfriend
and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a

I just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it
on Facebook. I said, "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" Next thing
I knew 4,000 f....g Muslims added me as a friend!!

Being a prudent man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent
trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the spam
channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular
people-spam, you sick bastard.

The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we could
help towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but
our garden hose only reaches the driveway.
Phoenix - Equinox
Don't trust anyone wearing a necktie...

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