As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but annoying everyone is a piece of cake.
I’m responsible for what I say, not what you understand.
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it the most never use it.
My tolerance for idiots is extremely low these days. I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously there's a new strain out there.
It’s not my age that bothers me; it’s the side effects.
I’m not saying I’m old and worn out, but I make sure I’m nowhere near the curb on trash day.
As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, I'm sure of one thing: It will be misspelled and have no punctuation.
Me, sobbing: "I can't see you anymore. . . . I'm not going to let you hurt me again."My Trainer: "It was one sit-up.”
As I’ve gotten older, people think I’ve become lazy. The truth is I’m just being more energy efficient.
If you find yourself feeling useless, remember it took 20 years, trillions of dollars, and four presidents to replace the Taliban with the Taliban.
Turns out that being a "senior" is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.
I want to be 18 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.
God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then he made the earth round. . . and laughed and laughed and laughed.
I'm on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on one.
I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.
My mind is like an internet browser. At least 19 open tabs, 3 of them are frozen, and I have no clue where the music is coming from.
Hard to believe I once had a phone attached to a wall, and when it rang, I picked it up without knowing who was calling.
Apparently RSVP'ing to a wedding invitation "Maybe next time" isn't the correct response.
She says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found mute by now.
So you’ve been eating hot dogs and McChickens all your life, but you won’t take the vaccine because you don’t know what’s in it. Are you kidding me?
Sometimes the Universe puts you in the same situation again to see if you’re still a dumbass.
There is no such thing as a grouchy old person. The truth is that once you get old, you stop being polite and start being honest
OT: Getting Older
Moderator: Excalibur Marketing Dude
- IronNoggin
- Posts: 3581
- Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2011 7:53 pm
- Location: Port Alberni, Vancouver Island
OT: Getting Older
"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."
Re: OT: Getting Older
OK a few of those were hilarious!
Blackout BD-Axe "Hatchet340"
Suppressor 400TD
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- Carnivorous
- Posts: 3761
- Joined: Sun Dec 25, 2005 12:56 pm
- Location: Belleriver Ontario
Re: OT: Getting Older
Priceless and true!!! Lol
A touch of frost has heightened your awareness and your heart steadily beats in anticipation. Your senses are suddenly alert to the movement on the forest floor and you realize that the moment of truth is at hand.
Re: OT: Getting Older
I resemble those remarks
Dave
Dave
2010 equinox,
known as doe bow
vixenmaster custom string
swacker bhs, 2/1/4" cut 120 grn.
xx75 Easton 2219,s
firebolt arrows
S5 pads
if it ain't broke don't fix it
be safe in all you do
see ya in the woods
<-------<
known as doe bow
vixenmaster custom string
swacker bhs, 2/1/4" cut 120 grn.
xx75 Easton 2219,s
firebolt arrows
S5 pads
if it ain't broke don't fix it
be safe in all you do
see ya in the woods
<-------<
-
- Posts: 3430
- Joined: Mon Nov 30, 2009 7:41 pm
- Location: Southern Michigan
- AJ01
- Posts: 2490
- Joined: Fri Nov 24, 2017 10:09 am
- Location: Deep in the Heart of the East Texas Piney Woods!
Re: OT: Getting Older
Matt strikes again!
This is priceless!
This is priceless!
“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming "Wow, What a Ride!
-
- Posts: 4804
- Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 5:06 pm
- Location: Ft. Worth, Texas
Re: OT: Getting Older
All you OLD guys( glad I’m not that old) need to google Willie Nelson’s( Men’s tool that starts with a P )Poem, it’s a hoot
Re: OT: Getting Older
What do you mean not that ( OLD )flightattendant100 wrote: ↑Wed Apr 05, 2023 6:04 pmAll you OLD guys( glad I’m not that old) need to google Willie Nelson’s( Men’s tool that starts with a P )Poem, it’s a hoot
How old is that old ?
Dave
2010 equinox,
known as doe bow
vixenmaster custom string
swacker bhs, 2/1/4" cut 120 grn.
xx75 Easton 2219,s
firebolt arrows
S5 pads
if it ain't broke don't fix it
be safe in all you do
see ya in the woods
<-------<
known as doe bow
vixenmaster custom string
swacker bhs, 2/1/4" cut 120 grn.
xx75 Easton 2219,s
firebolt arrows
S5 pads
if it ain't broke don't fix it
be safe in all you do
see ya in the woods
<-------<