OT: Jokes & Memes
Moderator: Excalibur Marketing Dude
-
IronNoggin
- Posts: 3580
- Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2011 7:53 pm
- Location: Port Alberni, Vancouver Island
Re: OT: Jokes & Memes
"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."
-
IronNoggin
- Posts: 3580
- Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2011 7:53 pm
- Location: Port Alberni, Vancouver Island
Re: OT: Jokes & Memes
"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."
-
IronNoggin
- Posts: 3580
- Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2011 7:53 pm
- Location: Port Alberni, Vancouver Island
Re: OT: Jokes & Memes
"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."
-
IronNoggin
- Posts: 3580
- Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2011 7:53 pm
- Location: Port Alberni, Vancouver Island
Re: OT: Jokes & Memes
"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."
-
IronNoggin
- Posts: 3580
- Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2011 7:53 pm
- Location: Port Alberni, Vancouver Island
Re: OT: Jokes & Memes
"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."
-
IronNoggin
- Posts: 3580
- Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2011 7:53 pm
- Location: Port Alberni, Vancouver Island
Re: OT: Jokes & Memes
"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."
-
IronNoggin
- Posts: 3580
- Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2011 7:53 pm
- Location: Port Alberni, Vancouver Island
Re: OT: Jokes & Memes
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the spam.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".
Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word or political. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless"with a big smile on his face
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the spam.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".
Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word or political. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless"with a big smile on his face
"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."
-
AJ01
- Posts: 2490
- Joined: Fri Nov 24, 2017 10:09 am
- Location: Deep in the Heart of the East Texas Piney Woods!
Re: OT: Jokes & Memes
Matt, that was indeed priceless Red Skelton. 
Probably the funniest man of our time!!
Thanks for sharing!!
Probably the funniest man of our time!!
Thanks for sharing!!
“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming "Wow, What a Ride!
-
IronNoggin
- Posts: 3580
- Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2011 7:53 pm
- Location: Port Alberni, Vancouver Island
Re: OT: Jokes & Memes
"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."
-
IronNoggin
- Posts: 3580
- Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2011 7:53 pm
- Location: Port Alberni, Vancouver Island
Re: OT: Jokes & Memes
"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."
-
IronNoggin
- Posts: 3580
- Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2011 7:53 pm
- Location: Port Alberni, Vancouver Island
Re: OT: Jokes & Memes
"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."
-
IronNoggin
- Posts: 3580
- Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2011 7:53 pm
- Location: Port Alberni, Vancouver Island
Re: OT: Jokes & Memes
"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."
-
IronNoggin
- Posts: 3580
- Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2011 7:53 pm
- Location: Port Alberni, Vancouver Island
Re: OT: Jokes & Memes
"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."
-
IronNoggin
- Posts: 3580
- Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2011 7:53 pm
- Location: Port Alberni, Vancouver Island
Re: OT: Jokes & Memes
"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."
-
IronNoggin
- Posts: 3580
- Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2011 7:53 pm
- Location: Port Alberni, Vancouver Island
Re: OT: Jokes & Memes
"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."