Multigenerational twist

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Montana Mark
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Multigenerational twist

Post by Montana Mark » Sun Jun 02, 2019 7:44 pm

Off topic (not crossbow related). So today, I went up to my folks to tell them I didn’t want to buy their house (1M$ house for a song—they want to downsize) and made up some excuses but the real reason was that I want to be my own man even if it is a struggle. It was a difficult decision and I came home relieved and free that I didn’t feel pressure to carry on my dads legacy and could do my own thing and pursue my own dream. I was happy and in a good mood and told my son that I turned my dad down and prefer my simpler life and that I would better be able to help them with college and medical school. Still in a good mood, I went to town to buy some steaks to cook for my family and my parents (invited them over). Came back to find that my son left angry saying he didn’t want our help. I was astonished and only after thinking about it, I realize that I am just like my father in that I want to help my kids and that my son is just like me in that he doesn’t want my help. What a twist! I texted my son and apologized, explaining that the main reason I turned my father down was so that I can be “be my own man” and that I understand that he deserves to be his own man also. I am glad my son said he would be up for steaks and I’m sure everything will be fine. I guess I just need to let go. He deserves to make his own way. (I’ll still help him as much as he’ll let me.)
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longbow joe
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Re: Multigenerational twist

Post by longbow joe » Sun Jun 02, 2019 8:08 pm

Try living in a house full of women .....even the dogs a girl.l get sent out to the garage a lot. ...lts really not that bad my boat and hunting fishing stuff is in there. And a fridge fulla beer.
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PublicLandHunter1
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Re: Multigenerational twist

Post by PublicLandHunter1 » Sun Jun 02, 2019 8:19 pm

Does your son realize medical school is about $500,000. My nephew recently graduated with $450,000 in loans. His dad was able to help him but not cover the total cost. My daughter graduates high school in 2 years; she plans to go to medical school. I will be helping as much as possible as college is always a struggle even if you have scholarships. My advice to your son is to humble himself and accept your help; he will be glad he did in the long run. If he wants to repay you when he can, then let that be part of the deal.
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Stepnoutnb
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Re: Multigenerational twist

Post by Stepnoutnb » Sun Jun 02, 2019 9:22 pm

longbow joe wrote:
Sun Jun 02, 2019 8:08 pm
Try living in a house full of women .....even the dogs a girl.l get sent out to the garage a lot. ...lts really not that bad my boat and hunting fishing stuff is in there. And a fridge fulla beer.
Lol I have a wife, one daughter p, 2 granddaughters, 5 laying hens, and one black lab HER name I’d BooBoo! I love al my hunting and fishing gear. My garden and my hunting fishing camp are my safe haven.
Most days IM DROWNING IN THE ESTROGEN OCEAN! I love them all dearly!

Stepnoutnb
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Re: Multigenerational twist

Post by Stepnoutnb » Sun Jun 02, 2019 9:24 pm

Montana Mark wrote:
Sun Jun 02, 2019 7:44 pm
Off topic (not crossbow related). So today, I went up to my folks to tell them I didn’t want to buy their house (1M$ house for a song—they want to downsize) and made up some excuses but the real reason was that I want to be my own man even if it is a struggle. It was a difficult decision and I came home relieved and free that I didn’t feel pressure to carry on my dads legacy and could do my own thing and pursue my own dream. I was happy and in a good mood and told my son that I turned my dad down and prefer my simpler life and that I would better be able to help them with college and medical school. Still in a good mood, I went to town to buy some steaks to cook for my family and my parents (invited them over). Came back to find that my son left angry saying he didn’t want our help. I was astonished and only after thinking about it, I realize that I am just like my father in that I want to help my kids and that my son is just like me in that he doesn’t want my help. What a twist! I texted my son and apologized, explaining that the main reason I turned my father down was so that I can be “be my own man” and that I understand that he deserves to be his own man also. I am glad my son said he would be up for steaks and I’m sure everything will be fine. I guess I just need to let go. He deserves to make his own way. (I’ll still help him as much as he’ll let me.)
My daughter is the same, she refuses any help. A very strong woman.

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Montana Mark
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Re: Multigenerational twist

Post by Montana Mark » Sun Jun 02, 2019 10:56 pm

I graduated medical school 20 years ago with $200k debt. I still owe $100k. The main reason I’d like to help is because I know that is a real burden. However, I respect that he wants to be his own man. I felt (still feel) the same way.

My dad helped me through college and he offered to help with medical school. I told him, “you helped me enough, I got this”. I’m actually proud I did it so I understand. I’ll step back and help if asked. I was probably just going to help him with living expenses. If I have the cash later, a down payment on a house is cheaper than medical school (wow, I just thought of that—good idea!).

Regarding my dads big house. Another reason I turned it down because I’ve been house poor before (been there done that-real money pit). I realize that the mortgage is not the only thing that makes a big house expensive! (Doubling the size seems to quadruple the expenses.) I have a small, simple place in the woods and like it that way (small and simple).
Last edited by Montana Mark on Mon Jun 03, 2019 12:27 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Montana Mark
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Re: Multigenerational twist

Post by Montana Mark » Sun Jun 02, 2019 11:42 pm

Stepnoutnb wrote:
Sun Jun 02, 2019 9:22 pm
longbow joe wrote:
Sun Jun 02, 2019 8:08 pm
Try living in a house full of women .....even the dogs a girl.l get sent out to the garage a lot. ...lts really not that bad my boat and hunting fishing stuff is in there. And a fridge fulla beer.
Lol I have a wife, one daughter p, 2 granddaughters, 5 laying hens, and one black lab HER name I’d BooBoo! I love al my hunting and fishing gear. My garden and my hunting fishing camp are my safe haven.
Most days IM DROWNING IN THE ESTROGEN OCEAN! I love them all dearly!
I’m in the same boat at home. My boys are grown and at college most of the year. Now it’s myself, my wife and my 2 daughters. My large shed is 14x21 and I want to turn it into a tiny house/man cave for myself. (My wife wants to make it into a “quilting cottage”. Guess who will win.). It’s not too bad with the girls though. They often leave me alone. However, last fall, I got singled out by my daughters’ ballet teacher and was “volunteered” to be one of the adults cast in the Nutcracker. It was actually very fun.

(I keep my beer in the barn. You know, I have to go feed the chickens and goats after work. Too bad beer freezes in the winter but I’ve found that vodka doesn’t.)
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Goose52
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Re: Multigenerational twist

Post by Goose52 » Mon Jun 03, 2019 5:48 am

As a medical practitioner, i'm sure you're well aware of all the studies done on the remedial effects of alcohol in the treatment of estrogen poisoning in adult males.
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longbow joe
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Re: Multigenerational twist

Post by longbow joe » Mon Jun 03, 2019 6:14 am

It's not all really that bad. Sometimes its Saturday and they all decide to sleep late. I'm hunting or fishing and back before they are even up. It's far better than somone grumbling that l cant go or that l go too much. Lol.
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Re: Multigenerational twist

Post by papa bear1 » Mon Jun 03, 2019 8:54 am

longbow joe wrote:
Sun Jun 02, 2019 8:08 pm
Try living in a house full of women .....even the dogs a girl.l get sent out to the garage a lot. ...lts really not that bad my boat and hunting fishing stuff is in there. And a fridge fulla beer.
I wanna come to your garage, :lol: :thumbup:
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XB I GO
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Re: Multigenerational twist

Post by XB I GO » Mon Jun 03, 2019 11:18 am

My Dad said he will help me with college cost. He said he will give me a ride to the recruiting office. LOL......

Timbrhuntr
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Re: Multigenerational twist

Post by Timbrhuntr » Mon Jun 03, 2019 12:43 pm

My buddy with 3 girls had a set of taps and kegs installed in his garage/man cave. Cold beer on tap ! :D

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Boo
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Re: Multigenerational twist

Post by Boo » Mon Jun 03, 2019 6:50 pm

Goose52 wrote:
Mon Jun 03, 2019 5:48 am
As a medical practitioner, i'm sure you're well aware of all the studies done on the remedial effects of alcohol in the treatment of estrogen poisoning in adult males.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Boo
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Re: Multigenerational twist

Post by Boo » Mon Jun 03, 2019 6:51 pm

XB I GO wrote:
Mon Jun 03, 2019 11:18 am
My Dad said he will help me with college cost. He said he will give me a ride to the recruiting office. LOL......
:lol: :lol: :lol:
If there are no dogs in heaven then I want to go where they went. Will Rogers
Si vis pacem, para bellum
Truth is not what you want it to be, it is what it is and you must bend to its power or live a lie. Miyamoto Musashi
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Boo
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Re: Multigenerational twist

Post by Boo » Mon Jun 03, 2019 6:55 pm

Mark, give your boy a hug and a kiss and let him be his own man. It's important that a man knows that he is where he is because he put himself there! Nothing better than knowing that you are responsible for your own destiny.
XB buddy. Your dad is way cool! I like him! :D
If there are no dogs in heaven then I want to go where they went. Will Rogers
Si vis pacem, para bellum
Truth is not what you want it to be, it is what it is and you must bend to its power or live a lie. Miyamoto Musashi
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