O/T (funny) "WHEN WOMEN DON'T PUT OUT!!!!!!!!"

[TYE]

I thought this was hilarious, just had to post it here for you guys to read.




WHEN WOMEN DON'T PUT OUT!!!!!!!!

This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

[GaryL]

Yep thats called divorce if yer married and shove it up your kazzo if ya ain't A women scorned will get ya in the END TYE

[TYE]

scorned?

[Partikle]

scorned?

It means slighted, ignored, burnt or neglected. Anything to get her "pi$$ed off". You've never heard the saying "Hell has no fury like a woman scorned".

[TYE]

scorned?

It means slighted, ignored, burnt or neglected. Anything to get her "pi$$ed off". You've never heard the saying "Hell has no fury like a woman scorned".

Nope

[Woody Williams]

Not exactly a family type post here is it?

[TYE]

Not exactly a family type post here is it?

I suppose not...

It's still better than some posts I see around here. Not poking at any members, I'm talking about the stupid spammers.

[gad]

I thought this was hilarious, just had to post it here for you guys to read.




WHEN WOMEN DON'T PUT OUT!!!!!!!!

This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having spam tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

It s much more than hilarious. Its one of the best jokes I heard in my life. Thanks TYE

[Allan.L]

hahaha, nice joke, ill have to email my friends that one.

[TYE]

It s much more than hilarious. Its one of the best jokes I heard in my life. Thanks TYE

No problem

[ComfyBear]

scorned?

Tye, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned", one should consider themselves lucky if all she does is dump them.

[chris4570]

Not exactly a family type post here is it?

Nothing wrong with the post, actually I found it to be quite entertaining.

[ecoaster]

I've heard it before. There are not too many times that we as men come out on top of a dispute with women, so a little laugh about it is good.

We all know who really wins in the end .